


Same World

by Queenie7



Series: So We Beat On [2]
Category: Girls (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:34:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24150640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenie7/pseuds/Queenie7
Summary: Part 2 of the So We Beat On series. This takes place after Stare Blankly. Y/N and Marnie become roommates, while she develops friendships with Jessa and Hannah, Y/N gets closer to Adam. But will secrets from the past come back?
Relationships: Adam Sackler/Reader, Adam Sackler/You
Series: So We Beat On [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728574
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "I want to know you moved and breathed in the same world with me." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Adam’s walking through the park carrying Sample, he had got roped into babysitting as Caroline had to go somewhere and Laird was busy. He hoped it wouldn’t be for too long like it was last time. Both Caroline and Laird had seemingly been more stable than they’d ever been and it made Adam happy. Considering her real name, Adam was now glad his niece’s nickname Sample stuck, it was better than have to carry around little Jessa-Hannah. In fact, that name made him feel nauseous. Now he was over both his past relationships with Jessa and Hannah enough to be friendly with both of them, but he still preferred to keep his distance so he wouldn’t get caught up in all of that drama again.

Today was his day off from shooting his recent film and he wanted to make the most of it despite his babysitting duties. It was nice outside, and Sample needed fresh air so he took to her a local park, though he would never let her be more a few feet away him. She’s sitting down on the blanket he brought for them playing with a toy and he’s talking to her in a silly voice which makes her laugh. He hears someone speaking to him.

“Cute baby. Is she yours?” Y/N observes him with Sample and smiles. Adam’s disoriented seeing her there, and she looks beautiful he thinks to himself. She’s wearing a striped short-sleeved sweater, black jeans and flats. _Act_ _cool_ , _act_ _cool_.

“No, she’s my niece. Her name is Sample.” He answers her and she leans down beside the blanket and hands Sample her toy. Y/N raises her eyebrows as she asks, “Her name is really Sample? That’s a different name.”

Adam watches Y/N playing with Sample, and he appreciates it. He remembers how awful Jessa was with her, so it’s refreshing to see someone who is a natural. He mentally logs this moment in his mind, because if he ever gets into a serious relationship again, he wants kids one day. “Sample is her nickname because she was born really small, sample-sized. Her name is Jessa-Hannah Bluebell something, some ridiculous name. My sister was trying to do a home-birth but was having complications and refused to go to the hospital. It was Jessa and Hannah who convinced Laird to carry her there.”

“Damn that sucks though having your niece named after two of your exes. Sample it is then” She says as she smiles. Y/N adds, “You seem like you’re really good with her.”

“I guess so. I’m a like a big kid myself and it works out.” He responds back and Sample appears to be loving all the attention she’s getting. Sample grabs unto Y/N then heads towards Adam, as Y/N hands her to Adam, their hands brush. And it’s electric, Adam can feel the tingle go through his arm. She then looks at her phone and stands up to leave.

“I have to go meet Shoshanna for lunch. But you’ll be at the party, right?”

Adam nods his head, but before he can speak, Y/N adds, “Hannah and Jessa both will be there, but if it gets weird I can find a place to hide you in the apartment.”

“Thanks, but I think it should be civil between all of us now.” He watches her go and thinks that if he wasn’t so into Y/N there would be no way anyone could get him to that party. But he supposes he’ll suffer through it if he gets to spend time with her.

**************************************************************

Marnie called you as soon as you left Shosh, and she told you that she had seen her ex Charlie earlier in the day. She said that he’d gone through rehab, been clean for over a year and has a new app he’s developing. She then mentions that she invited him to your apartment warming. You told her that if Marnie still had a couple hours of work left and you decided to browse on your computer. Without thinking it through, you start googling Adam, and then you’re clicking on his movie. You try to talk yourself out of it, but then you press play. It’s actually good, guess he really did love Hannah.

Then, the scene starts. He spanks her again and again. You feel yourself becoming aroused as you watch his back muscles move and his large hand collide with her. You’re getting wetter, and honestly you can’t remember the last time you felt this horny. You go to take a shower, hoping that these hormones will pass. But that scene was hot, and you couldn’t ignore it. Then, there was the raw emotion from that film, you could feel everything that the characters were feeling. It made you think of Adam differently to see what kind art he had created and to see what he really felt. Here you had always thought that he was more of player, you never realized the strength of his emotions. Now you find him more attractive than you did before.

Ugh, this complicates things, you think to yourself. Of course you had to go and catch feelings for one of the most inconvenient men you’ve met. First, there’s the fact that Adam may be the most frustrating man you’ve ever known, second, he’s an ex of one of your friends and has a complicated past. Third, you had decided that you didn’t want a relationship right now, you had wanted to focus on yourself. Yet, if you were being honest with yourself, you were infatuated by Adam, and you could see it potentially developing into something real one day, if it wasn’t already. He made your head hurt, your heart flutter, and gave you butterflies as cliché as that sounded. He was intense, and you could tell that he felt things as deeply as you did. You always wanted the type of connection that was intoxicating, maddening and deep enough to drown in. You knew you would have to explore things with Adam, and you made up your mind that you would be open to the possibilities.

While you’re zoned out in your own world pondering your emotions, you hear your phone buzzing. You check it and its Jessa calling you, so you answer, “Hello.”

“Hey, so Y/N, first, I need life advice then I have a question about the party tonight.” Jessa says and you can hear people in the background speaking.

“Okay shoot.” You tell her.

“I want to mend my friendship with Hannah but I don’t know how. I thought since Adam and I are over that it would fall back into place but it’s not. And can I bring a plus one to the party tonight?” Jessa asks and you sigh before answering, “You should show Hannah that you’ve changed and that she can trust you again, and you know, take an interest in her life. It will probably be a slow process. You can bring a plus one as long as he behaves.”

*******************************************************************

Music fills the air, and you have opened the sliding doors to the main terrace. Marnie has taken care of the food for the night. You weren’t sure if you wanted this apartment warming in the first place but you go along with it, because, hey, what could it hurt? Marnie has moved the furniture around in the main room so the table is in the middle of the room, while there are other seats surrounding the room. You’ve never been the best hostess so you follow her lead. Though you do set out the flowers and see that the food is out with utensils in all of the containers. You’re wearing a pale-pink, off-the-shoulder jumpsuit, and block-heeled sandals.

“I can’t believe you invited Jessa. And Adam. There is now a 99 % chance that this will turn into a shit show.” Marnie says as she continues moving around your apartment. You stop to get a treat for your dog River before answering her. “You invited who you wanted, including your druggie ex who you just ran into for a few minutes earlier today. By the way, tell me about that.”

“Well I just ran into Charlie on the street and he started asking me questions about my life. I summed up the past two years, and asked him about what he’s up to. He said that he went to rehab, and has been clean since. He also has a new app he’s starting. I don’t know it just really threw me for a loop seeing him again.” Marnie states and you notice that she’s twitching her fingers like she does when she’s nervous.

“Running into an ex can do that. Do you still have any feelings for him?” You ask because now you’re curious. She seems very flustered so you sense that there’s some emotions underneath that.

“For so long, I thought I would always end up with Charlie. Then I wouldn’t and I thought that Desi was the one, then Ray, but I think that I always really wanted closure about Charlie.” She admits and you give her a pat on the shoulder and say, “If you need closure then get closure. Love chooses you sometimes.”

“Back to what I said before I got off on the Charlie tangent, what were you thinking invite both Adam and Jessa?”

“Jessa says that she wants to turn her life around and I guess I want to support that. Adam and I have a lot in common, he makes me feel less weird.” You say hoping that will get her to accept the fact that you choose to invite them both.

“Look, Y/N, I know you’re a good person and want to help people but Jessa pulls this all the time. She’ll say she’s going to change, get her life together and that will last a few months then she spirals out of control. And she’ll probably end up fucking you over. But I say that as your best friend: just be careful. Then there’s Adam. I have never understood what it was about him that made Hannah and Jessa so crazy. My only worry with him is that he wants to fuck you. Then if that happens, the awkward love triangle will turn into an even more awkward love rectangle.”

You feel your face go red at her last statement, you still blush as an adult and you hate it. Then, you do your best damage control by saying, “That’s not going to happen. But I guess we’ll see what happens with Jessa. We’re best friends, we’re supposed to be honest with each other.”

Marnie turns and grab a gift bag from her room, and pulls out the bottle of champagne that was inside. She says, “Marc got us this as a house warming gift.”

“Oh well that was very nice of him.” You say and think that he was the last person you wanted to think of. Elijah then shows up early to help the two of you set up the decorations. You had bought some lights to string up through the apartment and terrace while Marnie had got a few balloons. You catch up with Elijah while you wait for your other guests to arrive. Hannah shows up first, followed by Shoshanna and her fiancé, Byron, then Ray and his girlfriend Abigail come in. Then a guy you assume must be Charlie walks in. He seems nice enough, and Marnie introduces you to him. You’re actually feeling relieved that Jessa didn’t show since Marnie was sure that she would cause problems, but you were disappointed that Adam bailed. You were looking forward to hanging out with him again and you wanted to tell him that you watched the movie.

You mingle with Shosh and Elijah, the former is talking about wedding details and the latter is giving her his thoughts on the details. Byron is keeping his opinion to himself as you assume that he’s letting Shosh do much of the planning. You look over and see Ray and his girlfriend Abigail sharing a plate of food and giggling. Your eyes continue to scan the room to see Marnie and Charlie off on their own in a corner in the room. How is possible to feel lonely in a room full of people?

******************************************************************

Adam buzzes up to Y/N and Marnie’s apartment. When he walks through the door he immediately sees that the room is full with people who aren’t his biggest fans: Hannah, Marnie, Marnie’s old boyfriend, Elijah. Then he sees Y/N and it was worth it. She standing by the door to the balcony, and smiles as soon as she sees him. She looks hot and comes right up to him and thanks him for showing up. He don’t see Jessa and he’s relieved he can’t deal with her ‘friendship’ ploy tonight.She offers him a drink and he follows her into the kitchen to avoid socializing with the other people at the party.

“I have a question and I want you to be completely honest with me.” Y/N says and looks somber. He nods his head and now he’s scared: what will she ask, it must be important. She then leans into him, handing him his drink then whispers, “What is like to fuck Hannah and Jessa?”

He watches her to see if she’s joking or being serious. She then laughs at his horrified expression and he shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders before adding, “A gentleman never tells.”

“Now, c’mon, what kind of answer is that? I invited you so you could provide details and your drama could be the entertainment for the night.” She says cheerfully, then giggles. Holy shit, that giggle may be one of the best sounds he’s ever heard.

“What? Here I thought you brought me here so you could watch me squirm. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to make it clear that you invited me so you’re responsible.” He says in a deep tone back at her.

“On a more serious note, I watched your movie….” Now, Adam starts to panic, he’s expecting her to lay into him and begin her insults/commentary. He’s surprised by her actual comment.

“It was really good. It was open and raw. Real life isn’t depicted correctly in art anymore, it was refreshing. You could really feel the passion. To have a love that’s too intense to survive is painful, but you have to let it go.”

He feels his face blush, he always feel uncomfortable from praise, but he does appreciate it from Y/N. He knows she definitely has her own opinions, and is well-cultured so if she likes it then that really means something. He awkwardly stammers, “Thank you, I appreciate it.”

Then the rest of her comments sink in, he adds, “See you get the purpose of it! That was the point of it: that you can have a connection that’s too intense for it to last.”

The moment is ruined because he then sees Jessa walk into the room with some guy, she’s obviously dragged here. She goes up to talk to Hannah, Marnie, and Shoshanna. Adam is thankful that she hasn’t spotted him yet and he wants to keep it that way.

“How are your projects going?” Y/N asks him like she doesn’t even recognize that he’s become tense. He answers, “Good, I’m actually updating some of my old writing work for a resume, and preparing for another audition. One of my friends from the cab group wants me to take the movie and either turn into a longer screenplay or adapt for the stage.”

Shit! Jessa’s made eye contact with him and now she’s coming their way. Jessa approaches with the asshole she’s brought with her. She hugs Y/N, and says, “Y/N, you look beautiful as always. This is Joe, we’ve been seeing each other.”

Jessa then turns to Adam and says, “It’s good to see you, Adam. Adam this is Joe, he’s a cardiologist. Joe this is Adam.”

Adam reluctantly shakes Joe’s hand and prays that Jessa goes away. He can tell that she brought this guy here to make him jealous but he’s so checked out of that relationship that he doesn’t care, he’s just annoyed. He wants to continue his conversation with Y/N without the newfound company. Y/N chatters with Jessa for a short amount of time which leaves both him and Joe stuck standing there awkwardly.

“If you need someone else to help you review your other pieces, I’d love to read some more of your work, if you’re open to that. I know some writing is extremely personal.” Y/N says as she ignores that Jessa and Joe are still only a few away. Jessa is trying to hide that she’s eavesdropping in the conversation, but she keeps her head pointed towards their conversation.

“I’d like that, I’m auditioning for a role with Ars Nova, and they’re going to be doing a new piece by Sara Ruhl. They look their actors to be well-rounded and are looking for new works.” Adam says and he can’t hide his excitement. He wants the role and to be a part of the elite company.

“Wait, that’s amazing! Didn’t Lin Manuel Miranda do work with them? And Sarah Ruhl? Wow” Y/N says and she sounds as excited about it as he does.

“It’s a big opportunity and I want everything to be perfect.” He says. But before they can continue the conversation, Jessa interjects, “Who and what are you talking about?”

“A theater company, one of the best in New York and one of the best contemporary playwrights,” Y/N answers her and Jessa only responds with “Oh” then she walks away and goes to talk Hannah. Adam and Y/N look at each other and raise their eyebrows before continuing the conversation.

They end up talking about past relationships, family, and pet peeves. For one of the first times, Adam is one of the last people to leave the party, Y/N gives him a hug and Marnie gives him the side-eye.Adam never thought that Y/N would agree to help him write. The idea of her reading and editing his work makes him somehow self-conscious and excited at the same time. He wants to be sure to impress her, and to make the most of it so his resume is as good as possible.

Adam returns home then goes back to read through new materials for upcoming auditions. He gives up after he notices that he can’t concentrate. His thoughts drift to Y/N as he thinks of how good she looked that night at the party, and how perfectly disheveled she looked walking the other day. He wonders what she would look like after he’s wrecked her, then he thinks about her great her tits looked in that outfit, and her perky ass. And he realizes that now he’s hard. He unbuttons his pants and reaches down to stroke his cock. He begins stroking, thinking of how Y/N’s mouth would feel sucking him, how her pussy would feel around him, and how she would look when he made her cum. He strokes at a faster pace until he feels the familiar tingle in his spine. Then his orgasm hits him and streaming cum is across his hands and his stomach.

He thinks that he’s going to have to make a move on Y/N, or else he’ll always regret it. He’s interested in her in every way: sexually, emotionally, and intellectually, and he supposes he’ll settle for any part of her she’ll give him.

******************************************************************

Once everyone is gone, you crash down on the couch beside Marnie, and you look around at the mess left from the party. You grab some a container of cookie dough and a couple of spoons, and the two you snack and talk about how great the party was. Marnie stares at you, so finally ask, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I saw you talked to Adam most of the night.” Marnie says in an accusatory tone and gets up to pick up some of the trash.

“What? We have a lot in common. I’m not going to apologize for it. You spend the night talking to Charlie, how did that go?” You say, desperate to change the topic.

“It was good, I forgot how I had felt about him. Then it’s all coming rushing back. I guess we’ll see how it goes.” Marnie says and you’re worried because while Charlie seems like a nice guy, he did have no problem ditching her and disappearing.

“I hope it works out or get what you need from it. Do you want to finish cleaning up in the morning?”

Marnie shakes her head yes and you retreat into your room, and fall into your bed. Sleep hits you at once.


	2. Chapter 2

“Uh, yeah, who is it?” Adam asks as he steps to open the door. He doesn’t really have any friends except possibly Ray or Hannah, or maybe some of the cabaret group. Either way, not a large number of people, and even fewer knew where he lived now. It was refreshing to move somewhere new and start over, however he fears that won’t last long. He opens the door to find the person he wants to see the least: Jessa. She’d managed to track him down somehow, because he knew for certain that she had never been in his new apartment. _Fuck_ , he thinks to himself. Jessa stares at him with sad eyes as he figures out what to say that makes his point clear yet keeps things civil.

“What are you doing here? I end things, you say you want to be friends, then you disappear.” He brings himself to stammer out. He has no desire to play her games: not tonight, not ever again. She moves closer to him, he steps back and she follows him inside. She plays with her hair before stating, “I heard you say that you had a big audition coming up, and I was wondering if you wanted help with anything?”

“Thanks for the offer but considering you didn’t even read the script for the movie you produced with me, I’ll pass. I don’t think you want to be bothered with my writing or my career.” That was one neutral way of telling her that he didn’t want her help. Y/N would be giving him her input soon, and he trusted her opinion. She would understand the point he was trying to make.

“I never understood how important it was to you. If I did, I would have read it. But I thought because I lived it, and I knew what we had, I didn’t need to see it in print.” _Shit_ , he thinks, she’s back to that thought process. Perhaps it was because of her other past relationships that Jessa was convinced that they were the only two people who ever connected. But still, shouldn’t be with Joe, or whatever man she has now and not be here? He better cut straight to business before she gets the wrong idea or this goes too far.

“Why are you really here? If it’s to bring up old bullshit about our relationship, I don’t have time for it and I don’t want to rehash it.” He watches her reaction, he had been trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible, but now he sits down on the couch and meets her eyes. He secretly hopes that she’ll decide that she’s had enough of this and storm out. But he has no luck because she plops down on the couch next to him. She then turns to him and chuckles saying, “Still the same couch. This couch has a lot of memories. Remember the first time we fucked on it?”

All he can do is chuckle too, nod his head and wait this out. He ends up not getting time to wait it out because Jessa reaches out to touch his cheek and turn his face towards her. Before he has a chance to move away or process what’s happening, Jessa’s lips crash unto his. At first he’s surprised, then he kisses back without thinking. When she straddles him, he manages to control himself and use the right head. He gently maneuvers her off of him, and she looks at him with a look of shock, then she says, “Why can’t we fuck? As friends with benefits, or for old time’s sake?”

“No, Jessa. We’re not fucking any more. You say you want to be my friend, so just be my friend, okay?” He says and desperately hopes that she understands. He doesn’t want to hurt her anymore that is necessary, but he’s also one-hundred percent finished with their relationship. The relationship was toxic, they grew too dependent on one another, and ultimately brought out the worst in each other.

“I will never understand you, you fucking impossible man!” She shouts at him before rushing out the door, slamming it as loudly as possible. Adam lets out a sigh of relief as he’s alone again, but he removes him from the couch which he now thinks is tainted. He wants to talk someone about what happened: he could talk to Hannah, since they’re cool now but he’d rather not risk getting caught up in that again. Or he could talk to Y/N, but he’s not sure if he wants to drop all his past relationship drama on her this early, it might scare her away.

Adam can feel the nervous energy rolling off of him as he approaches the door, but he finally gives in and goes to knock. It’s a strange sense of nostalgia being back in the building where he lived for over eight years. So many memories there, but he knew it was right to move on. He hears footsteps on the other side of the door, then Ray slowly steps out. Ray looks him up and down, “Uh, giving up the dream in Manhattan so fast?”

“No, but I was wondering if we could talk? Like how friends talk?” He breaks down and asks. Adam’s never had a lot of friends but he has some idea of how friendships work. He remembers what an ass he’s been to Ray so before he has time to respond he apologizes, “I’m sorry for the way I treated you. I was an asshole.”

“You were an asshole. But most people are. C’mon let’s get a bite to eat.” Ray says as he walks down the stairs, and Adam has to follow. Adam speaks up and says, “Can I get a new couch too?”

Adam and Ray had lunch and now they’re moving Adam’s new couch up to his apartment. They manage to make it with only a few curse words exchanged. Once the couch is set down Ray asks, “What made you decide to get rid of old yeller?”

“Jessa stopped by the other day and brought back some shitty memories about that couch so it had to go.” Adam admits.

“You and Jessa are really over then?” Ray asks, Adam shakes his head yes, and Ray adds, “Good. Good for you. She was bad for you, and I think you were both shit for each other.”

“We were. It was a toxic relationship. She still tries to get me to come back, but it’s not happening.” Adam says and he feels some pride in himself. Fuck, even Ray looks proud of him too. Ray looks around his new place before saying, “I’m proud of you. Look at what you have now: your career is going great, this place is really nice, and you and Y/N have your thing.”

“What thing with Y/N?” Adam asks and he tries to hide his blush. Yeah, he really likes Y/N but he doubts anything will come from it. She’s too good for him. And he doesn’t want it to seem like a high school crush.

“It’s obvious that you’re into her and she’s into you.” Adam tries to deny it by shaking his head, but Ray wags his finger before finishing his statement, “I saw the two of you back in the kitchen at the apartment warming.”

*****************************************************

Adam has been running around his apartment all day making sure everything looked presentable, and proofreading some of the stuff he’s written again. He wants to ensure that his pieces are in the best possible shape before having Y/N read them. When he’s in the middle of the last one, he hears a knock at the door. He lets Y/N in and she says, “Okay, show me what you got.” He hands the notebook over to her, and she perches herself at his table and quietly reads.

Y/N has been reading his works for three hours now taking notes here and there. She also makes a few generalized comments. Adam feels like his insides are bouncing off his skin, yet he tries not to show it. She looks up at him and says, “Have you considered revising your film into a fuller screenplay or for the stage? Because I really think you should. I like you’re other works too, they’re incredibly honest and open, but that film was special.”

“I guess I’ll think about it.” Adam concedes and she gets up to stretch. He decides that they need lunch so he offers, “Would you be opposed to me ordering pizza? I know a cool place we could go to eat.”

She agrees, he orders the pizza, then hands her the pizza while a grabs a few foldable chairs. She raises her eyebrows to question it, but still follows him. He leads them up the stairs, taking them to the roof of his building. Y/N’s eyes sparkle when she sees the view, and she takes a brief moment to take it all in. Then she comments, “This is beautiful, though I’m curious as to how you managed to get up here in the first place?”

“I went exploring the building one day, and it’s surprisingly quiet up here. It’s a good place to clear your head. Plus the view of the skyline.”

They eat the pizza in peace and just enjoy each other’s company. And that’s the thing, it’s not an awkward silence, it’s a comfortable silence, the type you can only have after you know someone well. But Y/N breaks the quiet by asking, “Not to prod, but I’m wondering what your deal with Jessa and Hannah was? I’m honestly curious this time. I won’t judge now.”

“Hannah and I had a real connection but it was too intense to last. All the stuff with Natalia and Mimi Rose was just a way to cope with losing Hannah. Then, Jessa and I had a lot in common, and I thought that it could be like what I had with Hannah but better. In reality, Jessa and I were toxic together so I ended it. I thought Hannah and I could still work but it was just never meant to be. I went back to Jessa because it was easier then I got the balls to break it off.” Adam finds himself confessing more than he would have liked, but he knew that he would have to have this conversation with Y/N sometime.

“Damn. Thanks for explaining it to me. That’s the thing about love, they don’t tell you that you can love someone and it can still not be enough. It makes sense now, it’s still crazy as fuck but understandable.” Y/N says and he thinks that she’s staring straight into his soul, and he’s mesmerized. He pushes back the desire to get lost in her, to ask her more about her past relationship, “What about you? What was your last relationship like?”

“It was decent. He was a great guy. It was comfortable, stable, and easy. But I felt nothing, I felt numb and suffocated. I wanted more, you know, to feel more.” She answers and looks at him to see if he’s following her thought process. He definitely is, he knows what it’s like to want more. He felt as if he was rarely satisfied.

“I know what you mean. But never fucking settle. I mean it: never settle.” He says and shakes her shoulders to emphasize his point. He then because he’s curious now, “What do you really want? What is ‘more’ for you?”

“I want a real, spiritual connection with someone. Something so deep and intense that it makes a black hole jealous. I want passion that I can feel in my bones and seeping out of me, and that burns down into the core of my being. I want someone to look at me and see me: wholly, gazing into my soul and I want to gaze into theirs.” Y/N says. Adam thinks he’s more in love than he was already, if that’s possible.

“To really see someone and to really know a person is everything. It should move you so deeply that your life is never the same.” He says maintaining eye contact and leaning in closer to her. She’s leaning in towards him too, and it looks like they both may tip over their chairs. His face moves closer to hers and he can feel her breath, his lips are practically touching hers. He just has to cross that last centimeter to feel her lips on his. He’s going to do it. And then his phone beeps and the moment is lost. Y/N pulls out of it and readjusts herself in the chair. Adam stares into the skyline, cursing the fact that he lost the moment.

********************************************************

You were trying to get your head around what happened with Adam the other day. He was going to kiss you, and you were going to kiss him back. But you knew that would never go well, let alone end well. If you crossed the line with Adam there would more than likely be endless drama. Still, you thought about crossing that line a lot. You thought about him all the time. However, you were pulled out of your daydreaming when Jessa had called you asking for advice about him and all you told her was to do whatever she thought was best. When she pressed you for more help, you said that a person has to decide whether to stick it out and fight or walk away. She was satisfied with that answer and dropped the conversation. You couldn’t deny that a part of you wanted her to walk away from it and stay away from Adam. You tried to ignore that part of you.

Now you were at Adam’s place reading his work. At the moment you were reviewing the lengthened screenplay for _Full_ _Disclosure_. It didn’t look like the same script to you, Adam cut out the best parts when he lengthened it. What made the film poignant was that it dealt directly with the raw emotions the characters were feeling during the relationship, but that was now replaced with more enlightened commentary.

“Okay, Adam this script is a total opposite to the film.” You say to him after reading his updated script for the movie. You certainly don’t want to hurt his feelings but you want to know why he changed things.

“What do you mean?” He asks like he doesn’t know what’s different. He’s avoiding your eyes, a dead give-away that he knows exactly what you mean. You try to explain your thoughts the best you can.

“It doesn’t feel as raw, I mean there’s no way you had these insights about those relationships while they were happening. It’s more of a post-relationship attitude.” You raise your eyebrows and Adam walks over to stand next to you.

“Yeah, I did. I thought those things then.” He’s incredibly close to you, close enough that you can feel the heat from his body. His eyes meet yours and you swear you can feel the heat burning from them.

“Really? I don’t believe that.” Your voice sounds harsher than you meant, but you know that no one knows that a relationship is doomed. Or if they do, they actively repress that thought.

“I knew they were shit and doomed. That’s the point: that some relationships are doomed from the start.”

“Yeah, they may be doomed but we delude ourselves into thinking they’ll work somehow. We’re all fools for love!” You shout.

“What are you trying to say?” He asks, pushing you to reveal more of your thoughts. You give in and share them.

“What I’m saying is that in the beginning we don’t realize the relationship is doomed. We’re too busy feeling the passion-“ He cuts you off before you finish that statement. There is hardly any space left between you now, you can practically feel his breath when he shouts.

“And the connection to the person!” You shake your head in agreement and end up making motions with your hands during which they crash into his hard chest and forearms. You can tell that things are getting steamy and you should back away, but it feels so good. It feels primal, raw, and inevitable.

“And the heat!” You shout back at him, then his hands are on your face and waist, pulling you so there’s no space between you. His lips crash into yours as your hands make their way to his neck, where they find purchase in his hair. Your hands rake through his locks, which are just as soft as you imagined. His lips battle yours before he takes your bottom lip between his teeth and bites gently. You gasp in response and then his tongue delves into your mouth, tasting every inch. You’re incredibly turned on just from making out with him, to the point that the heat and dampness between your legs can’t be ignored. Adam’s just as turned on because you can feel his erection bump into your stomach. And, fuck, it feels huge.

You step back, pulling him with you, so you’re sitting on top of the table and he’s settled in between your legs. You lean into him, with your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling his hard cock flush between your thighs, right into your core. You try and fail to suppress the moan that it elicits. His lips make their way down your neck: licking, kissing, and suckling to your collarbone. Then you’re both frenzied as you strip your clothes, so you’re in your lace thong, and he’s down to his black briefs.

“Fuck, you’re hot. More than that, you’re perfect. Look at those perfect tits.” He purs, ogling you before squeezing your breasts and rolling your peaks with his fingers. You’re whimpering in response as he says in your ear, “So desperate for me already. You want my cock don’t you?”

You shake your head eagerly in response and rock your hips against him. He shakes his head before saying, “No, not yet. I need to make sure you’re nice and ready for me. And you’ll need to be louder.”

“Fuck, Adam! Touch me, please” you say in a voice that is neither a shout nor a whisper. His fingers make their way down your abdomen, then remove your underwear. His fingers explore your folds softly, far too lightly for your liking and you’re about to humble yourself to beg for more, but then he presses on your clit. You can’t believe the moan that comes out of your mouth, it sounds like the type you only hear in porn. His index fingers moves in slow, deliberate circles before he replaces them with his thumb and he thrusts two fingers in you suddenly. All the while his mouth latches on your neck, and his other hand caresses your breast again. Soon you’re moving in tandem with his fingers and you can feel your orgasm building, you’re so close, then he pulls off you.

“UGH, what the fuck is wrong with you?” You shout at him. He pulls down his briefs, and you wrap your hand around his cock and give it a light tug. Your action grants a groan from Adam as you continue your movements until he stops you. He then runs his cock through your folds saying, “Can you take my cock, Y/N? Do you want me to fuck you?”

“Fuck me Adam, please. I want your cock now.” Your graveling words work and he lifts one of your legs on his shoulder and the other is hooked around his elbow. He enters you in one quick thrust, and you can feel him splitting you in two. He begins with slow, forceful thrusts before quickening the pace so he’s rocking into you. You pull him in for a kiss, and your nails scratch down his back. You’re both panting, moaning, and you can feel his balls smack against you. He lifts your hips slightly, you put your leg up on the table and then his cock is hitting your g-spot making you moan even louder before saying, “Yes, right there. Keep fucking me like that.”

“You like the fuck you? I’m fucking you so hard, you’ll be able to feel my cock for days and you’re so loud that the neighbors will know what a dirty whore you are.” He says and he thrusts faster as his fingers rub your clit again. You say, “I’m a dirty whore for you and your cock.”

You can feel the coil growing in your stomach, and feel the tingle start in your legs. Then your orgasm explodes as you’re hit with a bolt of pleasure causing your whole body to tense and you throw your head back. Adam pounds into you and says, “Oh fuck yes, I can feel your cunt clench around me.”

While you’re still intoxicated by the pleasure from your orgasm, Adam pulls out and is beating his cock right in front of you. It’s one of the hottest things you’ve ever seen, you ogle him. He says, “Where do you want me to cum?”

“On my tits, come on my tits.” Adam pumps himself before releasing with a grunt. You’re lying on his table blissed out, and he’s lying next to you. You’re covered in his cum but you don’t care. However, he doesn’t know that so he grabs his shirt and cleans you off quickly. You tell him thank you.

“Fuck, why did we do that?” You ask as you come back to reality and wonder how much you’ve screwed yourself over. You still haven’t moved from the table but Adam’s stood up now.

“Because we wanted to?” He sings and heads toward his couch, where he lays down without a care in the world. You respond back with, “It doesn’t always matter what we want. I’m friends with both Jessa and Hannah. And I won’t be someone you use to get back at them.”

“I don’t see what the problem is. Nothing I do has to do with them anymore. I like you, you like me. I came, you came hard.” Adam says like it’s the most normal situation in the world. He eyes you incredulously as you think your reaction through. He pats the space next to him on the couch, beckoning you to join him. Then you decide, “It was just fucking: raw and primal. Instinctive based on chemistry.”

“Aye, aye captain.” That’s the only response he makes to your revelation. You give in and lay next to him on the couch for a while. He snuggles in next to you, and wraps a strong arm around you, before you know it, you’ve dozed off.

You wake up suddenly, realize that you’re still naked, and Adam’s still naked. You get up to put your clothes on but Adam has no such inclination as he remains laying there. He has no modesty, but with his body why would he. As you search for your clothes, you announce, “We need to get to work. No more distractions. For now.”

“Mhmm. How can I concentrate and work when you’re naked. Your ass is out, your tits are right there and I’ll never be able to work with your cunt looking so good. C’mere.” You consider it for a moment. You should stop this, put your clothes back on and either force him to work on his writing, or just leave. But damn, that was best sex of your life and you never felt more yourself, and you give in. You sit down, and raise your eyebrows before asking, “What are going to do if I agree to do things your way?”

“I’ll see that you get what you want, but I want to eat your pussy first.” He moves down into the couch, and gestures for you sit on his face. You’ve never did that before and you’re skeptical, “Are you sure?”  
“Fuck yes, sit on my face, please. I bet your cunt tastes so good.” He says and you give in and crawl on top of him. As you go to lower yourself on his face, you get a better idea so you move to face the other way. Adam groans disapprovingly but when he feels your hands on his cock he groans in pleasure. He starts with his hands grasping your ass to hold you in place and gives a broad, tentative stroke to taste you. His mouth feels amazing you as his tongue explores your hole while his lips suck on your labia. You start moving your hips, riding his tongue like you would his cock, and you’ll be damned if his long tongue doesn’t reach your g-spot. You moan losing yourself for a moment, then remember his hard cock in your hand.

You spread the bead of precum along his tip and lick a stripe from base to head. You then take his head and run it along your lips before sucking lightly. Now he’s the one who’s moaning and the sound reverberates off your cunt. You take more and more of him in your mouth, swirling your tongue, and bobbing up and down. You’re so consumed by sucking him off that you don’t notice it at first when he nibbles on your clit before drawing circles on it with his tongue. Then, his tongue more forcefully moves along the entirety of your clit: up and down, left and right. You can feel yourself teetering on the edge, and you ride his face, chasing your high. He loves it because he moans as holds your hips in place and continues sucking on your clit.

This orgasm is so strong that you feel yourself almost black out, and you can feel the tingle spread through your lower half. You’re back arches and the pleasure hits in spasms. As the aftershocks of your orgasm subside, you remove yourself from Adam’s shoulders and then straddle him. He’s panting and his face is covered in your cum.

He’s watching you with wild eyes and you tease his cock by rolling your hips on it but not granting it entrance. Adam groans in response, and you like that sound. You tease him some more adding, “Are you going to be a good boy if I let you have my pussy?”

“Fuck yes!” he shouts desperately.

“You promise? Do you really want my pussy?” You ask him again, because you can tell he likes it. He responds back with, “I fucking love your pussy. I’ll be good, I promise.”

Then you slide yourself down onto him and you swear he’s deeper in you than anyone has ever been. You moan as he fills and he moans as he slides home. You swivel your hips and rock them slightly before Adam begins thrusting up into you. You take the hint and ride his cock hard enough that your tits are bouncing, and you feel one of his hands snake up your side to squeeze your breast. His other hand sneaks down to rub your clit again as he tells you, “I’m going to make you cum again.”

The movements of his hand pulls another orgasm out of you and you collapse on top of him. You wrap your arms around his neck, and kiss every bit of his skin that’s available to you. His arms wind around your waist and he holds you in place as he pounds up into you. He groans as you feel his cock twitch inside of you, and you tell him, “Cum inside me, I’m on the pill.” He follows your instructions, spilling into you and holds as he relaxes back into on the couch, clutching you to his chest.

***********************************

Despite the shower you took at Adam’s, you were sure that you still reeked of sex. You try to sneak into your apartment to not tip Marnie off to anything amiss. Instead, you find Marnie sitting on the couch watching your attempt to be quiet before finally saying, “Y/N, I was getting worried. You were gone all day and didn’t return my texts. Oh my gosh, you just had sex didn’t you?”

You shamefully nod your head yes in response. Damn her intuition. There was no way it was that obvious. She just questions, “Was it good?”

“Seriously, it was the best sex of my life. Hands down.” You admit, praying that she won’t question who your partner was. Thankfully, she doesn’t. She only says, “Well I’m happy that you’re happy and having great sex. Good for you. Just use condoms and proper hygiene.”

“Got it. What’s up with you?” You question because you can tell that she’s hiding something. And that was why she was asking you for information but not taking it too far. She was hoping that you wouldn’t notice that something was up with her.

“Charlie and I are hanging out again. It’s like I know I shouldn’t but I can’t deny how I still feel about him.” Marnie admits and watches your reaction to her confession. Of course, you worry about her getting hurt again but she’s an adult and ultimately she’s got to live her life how she wants. You tell her, “That’s up to you. You live your truth and do what you feel you have to do.”

She nods in agreement and you settle into the spot next to her on the couch and find something to watch on Netflix. Unsurprisingly you settle on the Real Housewives and enjoy the peace, but you wonder if that will be ruined soon by the fallout from you and Adam. You then decide that you’re not going to feel guilty about it, you’re just going to see where it goes.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a rainy day in the city, and you were mentally debating on whether or not to go to Adam’s today. He invited you over to work on some more of his writing, but you knew what would really happen: you’d work on the writing for a half an hour then you’d be fucking on some surface of his apartment, nap, and then eat. But it was also more than that, you’d end up talking about everything not related to writing, the company was nice, it made you feel less alone. Marnie knew you were seeing someone, or that you were at least fucking someone but she had never asked you who it was. You wonder if she knew but just didn’t want to acknowledge it. You hadn’t talked to Jessa since you gave her advice, and you had hung out with Hannah but kept the fact that you were fucking her ex-boyfriend to yourself. You really liked Adam, but you would never admit that to anyone, especially not to him. Marnie was out spending time with Charlie again, so you were left on your own to decide whether to do the right thing and work on your own writing, or go over to Adam’s.

You knew it was wrong on some level considering that Adam had dated two of your friends, but you couldn’t stop. You had always considered yourself a sexually open person but you had never felt this sexually liberated. There wasn’t any position or kink that was off limits, you were working through each of your fantasy lists. You had fucked on every surface of his apartment, tried new toys, and even fucked in a public museum behind one of the exhibits, together you were both insatiable. And you found yourself knocking on the door to Adam’s apartment.

“Hello sunshine,” he responds when he answers the door, and of course, he isn’t wearing a shirt, for whatever reason. You walk in slowly, and head over to table to work on the writing. Adam offers you a cup of coffee, which you accept. As you read slowly, you notice Adam watching you but every time you look up to him, he’s looking away. When you finally get to reading his work again, you pick up on a detail that either you didn’t care about before or didn’t notice: he dated a fifty-four year old.

“Hold on, you dated a fifty-four year old?” There’s shock in your voice that you can’t hide no matter how you try. Adam raises his eyebrows at you as he answers, “Yes, does that bother you?”

“No, I was just surprised. Never took you for that type.” He chuckles at your comment and states, “Older woman and younger woman are better to date. It’s the ones in between that are the problem.”

“Oh really? The same can be said about men. It’s the middle ones that cause all the trouble.” You challenge back and your body leans in towards where Adam’s sitting. You hope he doesn’t ask if you have experience with older men, because you’d rather him not about that part of your past. Another question about him and this fifty-four year old goes through your mind. He runs his hand down from his top lip down to his chin, wearing a slight smile. “Go ahead and ask the damn question, I can tell you want to.”

There’s both challenge and amusement in his voice. In your head, you’re trying to rationalize Adam dating a woman that much older than him, you had always thought him to be the type to only date young, hot women. This notion also sent a surge of jealousy through you even though you knew it was irrational and you had no reason to feel that way. You finally break down and ask, “What was the sex like? Was it good?”

“Incredible. She worked out all the time. There was no position she didn’t want to fuck from.” He says and you feel his hand on your knee, leaving a hot path as it moves slowly up your thigh. You lock eyes with his honey ones that are now blown black with lust. Deciding to play his game, you place your hand on his thigh, lightly rubbing it as it went higher. His hands halts on your upper thigh as he closes in on you, but keeps his face and his lips from yours. You’re too mesmerized by the proximity of his face and by your brain thinking how to one-up when you can’t get much closer without kissing him. Then his hand is gingerly squeezing your breast and you let out an unexpected whimper.

You can’t let him have the upper hand like this so you take one of your hands to his hair and gently pull while your other hand moves from his thigh to his crotch. Your fingers trace his growing erection and you whisper, “Was it really good?”

“The best.” He says before he grunts in response to your touch. Your eyes never waver from his and as you exhale his lips crash unto yours. His lips tenderly press into your bottom one before he pushes deeper. Your tongue dances along his lip, seeking entrance. Adam’s hands move behind your back to pull you onto his lap. Once on his lap, his large hands make their way to your ass, and give it a smack. You fidget on his lap and end up grinding into him. His hand cups your mound, the heel of palm presses into your clit giving you the much needed friction. He decides that’s not enough and unbuttons your jeans to move his hand inside. His fingers delve inside your underwear, he plays with your clit then thrusts two of his fingers inside your slit. The palm of his hand goes back to grind into your clit at the pace of his fingers.

“You take my fingers so good, but you’ll take my cock better.” Adam says and you can feel his words on the skin of your cheek. Nibbling on his ear, you tell him, “You want me to touch your cock?”

“Fuck yes touch my cock.” He shouts. You try to warn off your climax to take back some control, and to reciprocate. Your hands go to unbutton his jeans, and pull his partially-hard cock out. You spit on your hand before placing it around his shaft, slowly moving up and down then teasing the head.

“You like it when I touch your cock like this?” You purr and you hear a breathy ‘yes’ from him then you ask, “Are you going to fuck me hard with your cock?”

He works his fingers on you, you pump him and soon your paces match. The tips of his fingers hit that special part of your walls and his palm is working a steady rhythm on your clit. You moan as you come and slump against him as he tells you, “I love it when you come apart for me like that.”

He places his arms under your bottom and picks you up, walking towards the bedroom. Once he’s thrown you on the bed, you pull him down for a kiss. All of the clothes, his and yours, are rapidly discarded onto the floor. Soon, you’re on your hands and knees on his bed naked with him behind you, his cock teasing your entrance. He thrusts into you quickly and you both moan when he’s fully sheathed. He leans over you so you can feel his shoulder brush yours, and can feel each thrust reverberate through you in a way you never felt before. You tell him, “Faster and harder.”

“You want me to faster and harder?” He asks and emphasizes his question as he drills into you, making the bed bang against the wall. You answer, “Fuck yes.”

He continues his movements, and you think you can come just from the force of his thrusts. You’ve never felt more primal or animalistic, but in the best way. This is what fucking is supposed to be like you think to yourself. When you think to move your hand to your clit, Adam’s voice makes you pause.

“Ugh I’m gonna cum but I want to feel you cum on cock. I want you to scream for me. Let everyone in the neighborhood know what a whore you are.” He lifts up to kneel behind you as his left hand grips your hip and his right goes to your clit. As he draws circles on your clit, you can feel your high build as the tingle washes through your legs. You moan loudly as you arch your back while you climax. Adam gives some encouragement while maintaining his brutal pace drilling into you, “Now the neighbors will know how good I fuck you.”

You lean down so your head rests on the pillow, Adam continues thrusting into you until you feel his cock twitch inside of you. He groans as comes, and lays down next to you. You’re still too worn out to move, he places his arm around your shoulders and pulls you into him.

Later, after you’d both got out of a not-so-chaste shower, you plop down on his couch as he brings you a bowl of chicken and rice he’s made. His hair is still damp and he only has on his briefs, and you’ve never been so interested in watching someone cook. You’re wearing one of his shirts and have your hair tied up in a bun, he’d been rambling on about his past relationships and liasions. You’d ask him for follow-up since you now wondered what other stories he had.

“Basically your love life is like Hemingway or Fitzgerald on crack. But seriously, you are so lucky because that is the kind of inspiration or source material that artists would die for.”

“Eh alright. You’re an artist, why don’t you make me your muse?”

“I don’t use muses when writing. If anything, I’m the current muse in your string of women.” He laughs and you both eat your meals. Once you’ve finished washing the bowls, you snuggle into him on the couch, and before you find something to watch, his phone rings.

“You getting that pussy pounded?” You turn to look at him, because now you’re curious as to who he says that to. His face turns into a frustrated frown as he continues talking.

“Shit…well yeah I guess I can watch her tomorrow. Okay, bye.” He says ending the call, then he throws the phone on the floor, “Shit. Fucking Christ. Always.”

“What was that about?” You question, as he paces the room, punching the air. He finally responds, “That was my sister, Caroline. Of course she’s on the verge of another breakdown and I need to watch my niece tomorrow.”

“Oh sorry, do you need help with anything? And I don’t want to ask too much, but does she have these moments often?” Your hand pats the spot on the couch next to you, hoping that he’ll come over to sit beside you and maybe open up to you. You want to be there for him, and give him someone to talk to. When he does sit down, you gently place your arm around his shoulders and gently rub his neck, and upper back. He apparently likes that because he melts into your chest. Without looking at you, he answers, “She’s always been unstable. It was really bad after she had Sample then she seemed to better but now she’s spiraling again.”

You angle yourself so you’re now laying back on the couch with Adam on top of you with his head resting on your chest. He opens up about Caroline’s history of instability, how she raised him, and how they have a tumultuous relationship. He had mentioned some of it before, but it mostly in passing. You listen to him, and give encouragement when needed. You attempt to soothe him with the fact that every family has problems. His relationship history makes a lot more sense now that you know more about his past and dysfunctional family. You feel bad for judging him for it in the past. True made mistakes but relationships are always messy.

He calms down but doesn’t move from his position on your chest, instead his hand plays with the ends of your hair, and you gently scratch his scalp then run your fingers through his hair. Then you hear a beeping noise and realize that it’s your phone going off. When you reach for it, you notice that it’s a missed call from Hannah and a text from Jessa. You sigh and you’re feeling torn because you think you have something unique with Adam, even if it’s just sex, and yet you don’t want to be that friend that ditches friendships for men. You stand up to start gathering your things, when you’re near the door, Adam’s hand holds your arm to stop you. He leans down to kiss you, and you can’t help but kiss back. As you pull away you tell him, “I need time to think about this, whatever this is.”

He stares back and just says, “Okay. I don’t like it, but if that’s what you need then I’ll see ya when I see ya.” You walk out of the apartment and head back to your place but you take a detour to sit in the park for a while. You wonder if you’re making the right decision.

***************************************************

It’s been four days since you left Adam’s apartment, and you hadn’t heard from him or reached out to him. It was strange not seeing him, because you had been spending everyday together but now you needed time to clear your head. You had honestly that time apart would dull your feelings and make you realize that it wasn’t something special. Instead, the opposite happened: he was all you could think about and you actually missed him.

Today, you were going dress shopping with Shoshanna and Hannah. You hoped that seeing them would help you realize that you made the right decision to give yourself space from Adam. You were currently trying on some pretty atrocious bridesmaid dresses. Marnie and the other bridesmaids weren’t available today, so you and Hannah were the bridesmaid guinea pigs. When you try on a one-shoulder coral dress, Shosh looks happy and says she loves it. Hannah meanwhile, doesn’t look impressed before commenting, “Well this could be a lot worse.”

After agreeing on the bridesmaid dresses, the three of you head to a bakery for some coffee and snacks. You get a raspberry scone, your favorite, while Hannah eats a cupcake and Shosh gets a croissant. Shosh is talking about some self-help book she’s just read, “It really made me realize that life is too short to be miserable or give up on things that make you happy. I mean we only get one chance, so why not be happy, and screw what anyone else says.”

That’s pretty bold coming from Shosh, she’s speaking so resolutely, but you agree. You nod your head with a mouthful of scone as Hannah adds, “I totally agree. If something makes you happy to be alive, then do it, and don’t apologize for it. That’s such a problem, especially for women: we apologize for things that we shouldn’t have to be sorry for. Or we live our dictated by other’s opinions.”

Those comments make you think about things you apologize for, or things that you’ve given up in attempt to please other people. Your mind immediately goes to Adam: you had iced him out and walked away from the connection you had, because you were afraid of what Hannah or Jessa would feel. You realize that you can’t stay away from Adam anymore: you would see where things went with him and not feel bad about it again. You decide that you’re going to go over to his apartment tonight. Shosh and Hannah watch you, waiting for your response, you oblige with, “Yeah, you guys are right. I agree.”

Before you leave, you make a trip to a lingerie store, and decide to head to the salon. Shosh joins you, and you feel the happiest you’ve felt in a long time.

***********************************************

Adam tries reading the script to review before his big Ars Nova audition, but he can’t focus. He then then attempts to practice his lines for his cabaret group, but he can’t focus on that either. It had been like this ever since Y/N said she needed time to think about them. She had said it was just sex, but then it didn’t feel like just sex and Adam let himself hope that they had something more than that. She hadn’t contacted him in several days and he was giving her space, even though it was driving him crazy. He had been crazy for her ever since he met her, even though they argued most of the time. He should have known that someone like her would never feel the same way about him, or if she did, she’d repress her feelings so she wouldn’t hurt Hannah or Jessa.

He wants to throw something, to see something break, but he’s been working on keeping his anger in check. He decides it’s time to start working on carpentry again so he goes to get his material. When gets the toolbox laid out on the table, he hears a knock on the door. He curses in response, “Jesus fucking Christ.”

He opens the door to find Jessa, he’s shocked but determined to not let her inside his apartment. She looks less disheveled than she did last time, and Adam hopes this is a good sign that maybe she’s getting closure.

“Look, I miss you. I really miss you. I want to be with you. I want what we have back, and I’ll wait for you if that’s what I have to do.” She confesses resolutely and watches for his reaction.

“Jessa, it’s really over. Completely over. I’ve moved on with my life, and we weren’t healthy for each other.” Adam says hoping that she will understand his point, though she’s proven how stubborn she is yet again.

“You’ve made your point! We’re bad together, you can do better, and whatever other shit you’re trying to prove!” Jessa shouts, and Adam can tell this isn’t going to go well, but it never does with them.

“I’m not trying to prove anything Jessa!”

“Okay, I get it. You’re hanging out with Y/N who’s way better than anyone else you’ve ever been with, and I’ll admit it makes me jealous. Now that I’ve admitted that, can you admit that you’re just hanging out with her to get back at me?” Jessa says and lights a cigarette. Adam thinks that Jessa must be back on drugs because his situation with Y/N has absolutely nothing to do with her, and she’s deluded herself into thinking that it is.

“You are either fucking delusional or back on drugs! It has nothing to do with, nothing I do in my life has anything to do with you! Could you fucking understand that?” He shouts back at her. She tells him, “Fuck you!” then she walks away but still flips him off on her way.

Adam thinks about what Jessa said about Y/N and wonders if that’s why she froze him out. Maybe Y/N thinks that he’s just using her to get back at Jessa, or just some piece of ass. He’s respected Y/N’s space and gave her time, but now he’s going to talk to her. If she rejects, then she rejects him, but he has to try to tell her how he really feels about her.

***********************************************

You look yourself over in the mirror. The new lingerie you bought looks fantastic, and your hair looks fresh from the blowout at the salon. You’ve applied your makeup so you have slightly winged liner and red lips. Now, you’ve just got to get over to Adam’s and tell him that you’re tired of staying away from him. You put on your heels, and put on your trench coat. When you’re about to leave, you glance down at your phone and notice that you have an incoming call. It’s Adam.

“Hello.” You answer

“Hey, are you home?” He asks.

“Yeah, are you?” You answer inquisitively. He lets out a breath before asking, “Will you let me in?” 

“Wait, are you here?” You ask and glance toward your balcony.

“Come to your window or balcony thing.” He says and you follow his instructions. When you walk out and look down, you see him still on his phone. He gives you a short wave, you smile and wave back. You go to buzz him in, and once he’s at your door, he checks you out.

“Damn, you look really nice. Were you going somewhere?” He asks you, and you tell him the truth.

“I was going to see you. We need to talk.” You tell him, but he still stands in the doorway and doesn’t follow you inside. You stand in the other half of the doorway and wonder what he’s doing here.

“Look I need to say this, and I need you to let me say it. You’re not just some random fuck, and you’re not just some way to get back at Jessa or Hannah. You’re something else entirely. Jessa showed up and said she wanted to be with me again but I told her I couldn’t. I couldn’t because of how I feel about you. I hope that even if you don’t want to fuck anymore, that we could still hang out because I like spending time with you.” He says and it takes you a moment to process everything he just said.

“I like spending time with you too. I’m into you. You make me feel glad to be alive and I feel so alive when I’m with you. I feel like you get me in a way that no one else does and I think I get you too.” You confess, and before you can take a breath, Adam’s lips are crashing into yours. He slams the door shut behind him and wraps his arms around your waist as your arms fly around his neck. Your bodies press together, as if even a centimeter between you is too much. His strong arms move down to cup your ass, then tap on it, and you get the hint and jump to wrap your arms around your waist.

You use your arms to direct him to your bedroom as you pepper kisses on his cheek and neck. Once inside your room, he throws you down on the bed and is on top of you. He grinds his hips into yours and his lips attach to your neck. You run your hands through his hair and you’re about to get lost in the moment, but then you remember the lingerie you’re wearing. You place your hands on his chest to signal for him to stop, then you move out from under him. He looks both confused and disappointed, so you reassure him, “Uh no I’m not stopping, I just want to show you something.”

Seductively, you untie the belt of the trench, before slowly undoing the buttons. You then let it drop from your shoulders, revealing your black lace bra, thong, garter, and tights. Adam’s mouth drops in responses as his eyes run over, before they turn black with lust. The look he gives you is absolutely obscene, he then tells you, “Get your sexy ass back here right now.”

He pulls you back to the bed and you’re suddenly underneath him again. He kisses down your neck and gets right in between your breasts and says, “If I don’t fuck you within the next five minutes I might die.”

You move your arms to unhook your bra, revealing your chest to him. He begins kissing from your collarbone down to envelope your nipple in his mouth while his hand caresses your other breast. He then switches and attacks your other breast with his mouth. You’re already soaking wet and you find yourself grinding against hardening cock for friction. You pull him up to give him a kiss before tugging the ends of his shirt. He obliges and takes off his shirt, then it’s your turn to kiss his collarbone before teasing his nipple which makes him groan. He then takes control again and kisses down your stomach, then right before he gets to your mound he moves to kiss your thighs. The suspense is getting to you, and he makes you wait before hooking your underwear with his thumbs and pulling them off.

He buries his head in between your folds, tasting all of you. He licks a few broad stripes up your slit before tracing along your clit with the slightest pressure. It’s still enough to make you buck your hips against him as your fingers wrap around his hair. He moves down to tease your entrance with his tongue while his nose bumps your clit giving you just enough friction. Before you can start moving your hips against him again, he attaches to your clit, sucks on your nub, then he moves his tongue in a horizontal line, hitting your clit from every angle. He alternates between adding pressure with his tongue and sucking on your clit, until you’re reeling from your orgasm. You let out a short scream, rolling your head on your shoulders, and arching your back against the bed. It feels like your body is shaking and has electric current running through it. Every orgasm was a good orgasm but damn that was on another level.

You can’t help but lay there for a moment while Adam’s head remains between your thighs, licking up everything you have to offer. He moves up so he’s on top of you, and gives you a sloppy kiss. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and your hands go to unbutton his pants. He angles his hips to allow you to take his pants and briefs off, then stands up long enough to throw them completely off. You grab him, and take his cock in your hands. He stops you when you move your head down, telling you, “I want to be inside you.”

You lay on your back and spread your legs as he settles in. His cock runs up your folds before he hitches your leg on hip. He kisses you as he enters you, you both moan as he continues moving all the way in. He begins thrusting and fuck that angle feels amazing.

“Fuck that feels good.” You say and he responds, “Ah, does my dirty slut like the way I fuck her?”

“Yes I love the way you fuck me.” You say back. He keeps drilling into you before he moves your other leg to hitch around him too and he maneuvers his hips even closer to yours.

“I bet you missed me fucking you.” He sputters out in between thrusts, before adding, “You probably touched yourself thinking about me fucking you again.”

You moan in response because the way he’s angled your hips, you can feel every thrust go straight to your clit. His hand goes to your clit as his hips keep thrusting to draw out another orgasm, and soon you’re falling apart again. You can feel the tingle spread, your toes curling and you let out a whimper. Adam removes your legs from his hips and he’s leaning on top of you, his lips at your neck. You twine your hands around his neck and hold him as he enters you a few more times before you feel him spill into you. You both pant and lie still as you recover.

“Look, I don’t do traditional relationship thing. It’s boring and fake. You don’t actually see or know who the person is. I don’t even know if I want a relationship at this point in my life. But I like what we have now.” You tell him while you’re both still lying in bed. For whatever reason, you think you need to define or attempt to define your relationship. He turns over so he’s propped up on his elbow, facing you, and his free hand traces down your arm, and hitches to your side. He pulls you closer to him, so now you’re faces are nearly pressed together. You find yourself distracted by his lips, but then you’re brought back to reality when he responds.

“So…friends with benefits plus a little more emotion?” He asks and his amber flicker up to yours. You place your hand on his chest as you answer his question.

“Yeah, I mean no obligations or anything. But I do want to be monogamous for sexual hygiene reasons.” You say in an almost whisper and snuggle your body into his: laying your head on his chest and placing a leg over his.

“Okay, sunshine. I don’t do labels anyway, they’re bullshit.” He says in a matter-of-fact tone and clutches you to him. You feel his lips press a kiss on the crown of your head, and you close your eyes suddenly aware of how tired you feel.


End file.
